Size does not matter


Before u jump to conclusions, may I warn u this post contains references to a rat, several admin guys and us 18th floor M&A people.
This monday morning, as on every monday morning, I turned up to office half complaining that I was dragged out of bed by my wily alarm. I wasn’t dishevelled – no, I work in an investment bank so I have to look presentable even when I don’t want to go to office – but I was certainly in a funk, so anything that made my day worse would have really irked me.
And as if Murphy heard my thoughts, a ‘funkifying’ start to my day followed.
I walked into my office, funked as I was, to a truly horrible smell. At first I assumed that it was because the office had been locked up all weekend, so it was simply the odour of stale air. But after a while, it dint really get any better. So, as all true employees do, we requested our admin team to sort out the problem. (If you have read some of my earlier posts, you know that I don’t like them too much – but since we computer-bound workaholics couldn’t do much we had to resort to asking them to lend us a hand ).
Soon after, an office boy came in and sorted the problem out in true admin style – with a can of air freshener. Sure for a few minutes the office smelt like lemon – but it stank itself up after a while and admin received another irked phone call from our floor.
This time their response was an air conditioner expert, who surveyed our floor’s ac ducts to report that there was something fishy… or should I say rather ratty about the situation. Apparently, over the course of the weekend a pest control exercise may have involved murdering some irksome rats, and one of them may have escaped the lawless hands of the exterminators. (Let me comment about these rats for a moment. Like most offices this side of town, we face a rat menace. The pesky little rodents run around our offices and canteen and cause quite annoying disruptions to our otherwise boring routine. Sometimes they cause people to do strange dances and jump onto higher ground, while in some cases they cause an exaggerated case of noise pollution. Either way, we’d rather be rid of them, so we welcome the routine visit of the rat terminators. What we dint expect is that the tiny rodent would make us suffer even in death.) 5 men then went about causing mayhem by attempting to locate a dead rat in our ac vents.
And I’ll tell you this – it doesn’t take a big Godzilla to get people to run out of their offices; a tiny dead rat will do the job just as well. Anyhow, some 20 minutes and a lot of stink later the culprit was apprehended and, I presume, locked away in a garbage bag.

So the next time you want to cause mayhem, ask yourself – would you rather be inspired by the Hulk and wreak little havoc on a lot of people, or be would you rather take a page out of Jerry’s book and leave a lot of little annoying circumstances for someone to deal with.

P.S. I’m a Jerry fan myself – no point acting like a giant lizard when a mouse can bring an office to its knees. So think how you want it to impact the recipients of your prank before you decide whether to rely on size or pure prankiness.

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